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Open Stage: Bristol Old Vic

Although I have taken the earthling from represented by Mark Rutterford, some of you may know...I am an alien.

I landed on your planet many years ago, when the Bristol Old Vic was celebrating its 200th birthday. I am delighted to be the first alien to appear at this theatre. I don’t get the earthling concepts of time, birthdays and delight – but I am pretending, so you don’t realise that I am, indeed, an alien.

During my time on your planet, I have been recording the things I don’t get about your planet. So many things!

Writing and performing short stories is a good cover to find out more of your funny earthling ways. To do this, I wanted to join a writing group. There are many writing groups in Bristol but almost all of them have Bristol in their title. This confused me.

So, in the absence of a group called Bristol Alien Writers…I joined Stokes Croft Writers instead.

I tested my first report in a competition between Bristol’s writing groups at the Bristol Festival of Literature. The event was called a ‘slam’ but this confused me because no objects or earthlings were smashed during the event.


Some of the earthlings were ‘smashed’ at the event, but this was due to excess consumption of the alcoholic poison you make from apples.

There are lots of things I don’t get about your planet. This would be a constant source of amusement if the earthling concept of ‘funny’ had a consistent set of rules and if I had a sense of humour.

Of all the things I don’t get, the thing that confuses me most of all is…Love.

I want to share my draft report about ‘The alien concept of…LOVE’ with you at the Open Stage on

(1200 – 1330 on Monday 27th May 2019). I hope you will help me confirm my findings - it is free to all earthlings and has a fantastic mix of acts for you to enjoy.

Other Open Stage sessions are on at 3pm and 6pm. Although there will be no-one representing my planet on stage during this sessions, you should go to these too.


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